Property Pun Lovers Pillows

'I'm thinking of flipping this house.'

"I call your attention to leaky sewer pipe, another nice feature!"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Mouse real estate!

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

House hunting is cruel.

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

"The house is great, but compared to reality show realtors, you're a big disappointment."

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

CHEZ MOI - formerly CHEZ NOUS

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

'My expedition confirmed what we already suspected: Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered by water, and the rest by real estate!'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'Yes, the owners are giraffes...Did I forget to mention it?...'

'Like I said - this property is only a stone's throw from the ocean!'

Real Estate Crispy Flakes: Location/Location/ Location

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

Real Estate Life

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

'I checked the math, Dear, and Lady Godiva actually raises property values.'