Property Pun Aficionado Pillows

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"I'd like something smaller – something with fewer walls to defend."

'With so many children, I can't afford to live in a choo anymore.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

Mouse real estate!

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

House hunting is cruel.

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

"No conifering, please."

'My expedition confirmed what we already suspected: Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered by water, and the rest by real estate!'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

Real Estate Life

Real Estate Crispy Flakes: Location/Location/ Location

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

'Like I said - this property is only a stone's throw from the ocean!'

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."