Property Pun Collector Pillows

'I've been trying to buy a condo in Vancouver! They say that real estate prices are going through the roof! At least that's how my agent explained the hole in the ceiling.'

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

"Beanirrito"

Tequila Mockingbird

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'I call it a flat.'

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

'It's a snow mobile.'

Mouse real estate!

An exaggeration of estate agents

'And in addition it seems that he has been eating some of the other children'.

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

Bell Hop

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

Clinical psychology involves observation of patients in clinics and related settings. Forensic psychology takes place at crime scenes. Cognitive psychology uses mathematical models. It can happen at a computer. Ernie prefers to put his patients in the car and drive backwards. Which is? Reverse psychology.

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

Toast kidnapper.

Prawn Shop

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

'Sure hope this doesn't give me heartburn. . .'

Custer's Last Rollo

"Why have you come over here?"

Air Transylvania's Red Eye Flight.

'That's not funny, Fred.'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

"It seems to me you may be experiencing some form of low-level depression."

"I must be getting old . . . I crossed over here, but now I can't remember why!"