Tenant Troubles Comedian Gifts

"Of course, the current tenant will be gone before the first of the month."

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Complaints at the Beehive Condo

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

It looks like wood, but it's actually vinyl siding.

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

Man on an Island has a sign that says: Selling Out Must Vacate Lost Lease.

"Of course under your new contract the requirement for you to provide 24 hour cover is optional...you could also opt for 36 or 48 hours!"

"Broken chairs, unmade beds, porridge everywhere... and a one-star review. Worst Airbnb customer ever."

The lessor of two evils.

"Sign here to indicate you have no idea what you've signed."

bound by restrictive covenant

Valentines for Real Estate

"And with this, nuptial contract, independent inventory and itemised bill...I thee wed."

'Water is included with rent.'

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

"Mum, I can't find my camouflage jacket."

Estate agents lined up for sale during house-price slump.

'Beats me why I took this place. No en-suite, no walk-in robe and no dining room!'

"I'll carry you over a regular threshold, darling, as soon as the housing market improves."

"Working late, my foot! You reek of pollen!"

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

'I see this one is detached. Yes, the ones on either side fell down.'

'...There's been a 20% rise in the length of time our house been on the market'

'A thief stole your key? Rats, I'll have to change the lock and reissue keys to the thousands of tenants...'

"Were you aware you'll need to sign over your wife & kids as collateral in order to secure this property?"

Ace Apartments: Absolutely NO beekeeping!

'I'm afraid the Christmas party has been cancelled on cost grounds...but the good news is that the boss has said you can still come in and photocopy your bottoms!'

I thought dogs weren't permitted here. He doesn't bark so he's okay --- the landlord said "No dogs aloud."

'In your price range I could find you a very nice tent.'