Ten Commandments Fan Gifts

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

'More rules? - Rules are why we left Egypt in the FIRST place!'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

"At this time I'd like to welcome our gold-medallion passengers on board."

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Quit throwing dinner plates, Gentle Jesus.'

Donald Trump and US Democracy

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

'Does it come on Disc?'

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

On holiday...

'All this 'plane geometry' stuff is great, Euclid, but what if the Earth turns out to be round?'

"No, no, no! Thirty days hath September!"

Times Of Terrorism Bill Of Rights

The real reason for the pyramids.

"Last weekend I went to Orlando for the DisneyWorld re-opening."

"Are we there yet?

The pyramids were built using advanced alien knowledge.

Serious business

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

"Welcome to the Desert Writing Workshop. Today we will focus on irony."

Constitution of the United States (First Draft)

Noah was renound for his bad memory (Dinosaur Extinction)

'Of course I can make a commitment. I'm committed to my job, I'm committed to the constitution and I'm committed to my golf game.'

'Put it down, it's the captain's log.'

'You never let us do ANYTHING!'

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

The Day They Invented Papyrus

'It all sounds very nice...But I'm a bit busy. Have you tried the shepherds behind the hill?'

STOP - Children of Israel crossing

'Is there a backup plan?'