Temporary Layoff Gifts

"It's only temporary. We'll call you as soon as things pick up."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

Very Difficult Conversations

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

Earl suspends his disbelief.

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

'There's new evidence that my departure from my previous employer merely coincided with their brain drain.'

'I'm afraid we have to let you go. As you know, you're entitled to a 'Golden Handshake'...

'We're looking for a 'temp' employee to serve time in Leavenworth.'

"Here's one I wrote myself. It's called 'Blues for the Guy I'm Laying Off.'"

You're Employment has been terminated -Smiley face lol

"This is the best news."

What Bob thought outside the box.

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, just holler."

"Sorry, Thompson. No temps on the corporate huddle."

"I gave you the axe. How dare you come back and use it to intimidate me."

Chillaxing!

'And if you become homeless due to this layoff, you can pitch a tent on my estate...'

"They told me my parachute would be golden. Turns out it's pyrite."

"Maybe we should've done layoffs after the holiday party."

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

'OK everyone get out... we're downsizing!'

"Poor Chap,he's only been here a few days but the pressure of the job seems to have got to him already."

'Relax, I'm not here for you. Just for your job.'

'You do outstanding work, Nelson, but I'm afraid Higby makes me look better.'