Temporal Adventurer Gifts

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'Somehow an electronic fish finder just isn't as exciting as a 'Ben fish finder'.'

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

Ancient Egyptian treasures 3000-900 BC Medieval paintings and sculpture 950-1500 New-in-box Star Wars action figures 1977-1985

"Dinosaurs are cool!"

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

"I come from the future."

Time Management

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

Grandfather Clock

'What do you mean we can't finish on time? Do you want history to say that Rome wasn't built in a day?'

'And so you can imagine our surprise when we discovered our hall closet was the gateway to hell!'

Wormholes: Portals To Other Universes.

Spiritual Show Observed by the Grim Reaper.

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

'Daddy says, 'Better drowned than duffers if not duffers won't drown'. Well, let's just hope social services don't hear about this.'

Robert the Brucie.

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

Tourist looks at his laptop rather than the scenery.

Floating Dragon

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500