Temporal Explorer Gifts

"We're following Carrot Top."

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

Atomic Bear: Part 21

Rock - see you in a million years!

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

Mars Poppins

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Dinosaurs are cool!"

Ancient Egyptian treasures 3000-900 BC Medieval paintings and sculpture 950-1500 New-in-box Star Wars action figures 1977-1985

"I come from the future."

Time Management

Grandfather Clock

Samuel Beckett

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

'What do you mean we can't finish on time? Do you want history to say that Rome wasn't built in a day?'

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

Sign pointing to 'hindsight' and 'foresight'

History Department: 'I used to be a revisionist myself, you know!'

Albert Einstein

'The big bang theory of creation.'

Gustave Charpentier

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

Three cases of therapy-resistant low self-esteem

"Have you noticed how climate change looks and feels the same as colonialism?"

Eyes on the Forest Floor

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

Robert the Brucie.

Ferdinand von Zeppelin

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'