Grown-up Time Explorer Gifts

'I'm glad summer's almost here. I need to be with some of my own kind.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Atomic Bear: Part 21

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

Mars Poppins

"Can that be right?"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

"I come from the future."

Time Management

Grandfather Clock

Where the Wild Things Summer

'What do you mean we can't finish on time? Do you want history to say that Rome wasn't built in a day?'

'I know it's only a dummy run...but I'm telling you there's no wi fi signal in the tomb.'

You're only young once but apparently there's no limit on childish. (Published originally on January 15, 2008.)

'The big bang theory of creation.'

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

Pubertry

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Eyes on the Forest Floor

Bingo's Time Out - Part Six

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500

Robert the Brucie.

"Would you want to drink from a fountain of youth?" "I'd settle for a fountain of middle age."

"Here's the problem, I grabbed the wrong map. This isn't the Fountain of Youth. This is the Fountain of Middle Age."

It's not a rip in the space-time continuum, Ernie --- Just in the newspaper.

"What do you mean, 'who are you, old woman'...? Before you went into a coma, I was your, 'beautiful teenage bride!'"

'He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.'