Temperamental Golfer Gifts

"Your swing's improving but we still need to work on your grip."

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

God in the bunker.

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Dog fetching golf ball

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'Stop your complaining it was the only cart left.'

Pest control.

Too many beers at lunch?

Restaurant. Special: Fricken Chicassee. The chef shouldn't write the special when he's angry.

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

'Medical science can't cure a slice.'

'I knew it! Come back here!'

'Do you mind if I play through?'

Farmer Golf

"So he pulls out a 1 iorn, see? I say to him. Bob I says, not even God can hit a 1 iron. Then, there was a flash of light and boom!"

Using Science In Fashion Design

'I am so very frustrated! I know it's hard for you to understand, but you don't know the golf course.'

'...and twenty-two mulligans.'

'Doctor, when you said you were going to put me on an exercise program, this is not what I had in mind.'

'It wouldn't be so bad to play golf in winter if the balls were just another color.'

By subjecting himself to increasingly higher jolts of electricity over many months, Tom hoped to become immune to lightning strikes while playing golf.

"I hate golf...But I Like wearing silly pants."

The 19th hole

Sometimes when I

'You told me to address the ball, so I did!'

'Every Sunday I thank God that I'm an atheist!'