Temperament Analyzer Pillows

"I'm very slow to anger, but then I'm very slow to do everything."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

Yesterday I had an argument with the janitor of my building, and then last night I dreamed that he was chasing me with a large ball-peen hammer

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

'I'm not mad! I'm fuming!'

'Manic depression research centre.'

"I think I've found the trouble, Mr. Nadler!"

"I think I'm a big dog."

Road Guilt

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

"Don't feel bad. Shallow people make my job easy."

Empathy School for Trump

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

"Something’s wrong. I can tell by the way you’re being nice to me."

Higher Instincts/Middling Instincts/Baser Instincts.

Mood Swingometer - Tetchy/Calm.

Emojis for psychos.

There are times when it feels like I wasn't even meant to party.

'According to a recent issue of 'psychology today', all your fears are well founded.'

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

'Tell me more about your premonition of impending dom, Mr Syms...'

Protests

A man wearing a fragile, porcelain mask

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

"Something's wrong. I can tell by your look of utter disillusionment tinged with brooding animosity."

'Sometimes she's like a wave, sometimes she's like a particle.'

"Because I'm happy, I feel alienated."

He doesn't look sorry!

"It's a common misconception that resting bitch face affects only women. Statistically, it's a man's disease."