Temperament Analyzer Pillows

"I'm very slow to anger, but then I'm very slow to do everything."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

'I'm not mad! I'm fuming!'

'Manic depression research centre.'

"I think I've found the trouble, Mr. Nadler!"

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

"I think I'm a big dog."

Road Guilt

Higher Instincts/Middling Instincts/Baser Instincts.

"Something’s wrong. I can tell by the way you’re being nice to me."

"Don't feel bad. Shallow people make my job easy."

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

Mood Swingometer - Tetchy/Calm.

'According to a recent issue of 'psychology today', all your fears are well founded.'

Protests

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

There are times when it feels like I wasn't even meant to party.

'Tell me more about your premonition of impending dom, Mr Syms...'

A man wearing a fragile, porcelain mask

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

"Something's wrong. I can tell by your look of utter disillusionment tinged with brooding animosity."

'It seems that he was too optimistic. His glass of water wasn't half full. Obviously, it was completely empty.'

He doesn't look sorry!

"Because I'm happy, I feel alienated."

The Grumpometer.

"It's a common misconception that resting bitch face affects only women. Statistically, it's a man's disease."