Fear Analyzer Pillows

'According to a recent issue of 'psychology today', all your fears are well founded.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

"Unfortunately, at this age I express glee and stark raving terror in the exact same way."

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"Pencil eraser."

Confirmation Bias

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

'I'm not mad! I'm fuming!'

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"And what do you think will happen if you do get on the couch?"

"I think I've found the trouble, Mr. Nadler!"

Closed system: Worry-powered TV set.

Road Guilt

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

"Don't feel bad. Shallow people make my job easy."

Protests

'Tell me more about your premonition of impending dom, Mr Syms...'

"He isn't afraid of everything, yet, but we're getting close."

"I'm very slow to anger, but then I'm very slow to do everything."

Everyone knows the naked truth about me phobia.

'Yes - He's armed.'

'He was a very claustrophobic person.'

Stranded Chickens meeting Fox,"Is this your dream or our nightmare?"

'We're looking for someone who has enormous confidence during the day and who wakes up worried sick at night.'

"Next! Is your home killing you? Details...after the break!"

'The sad thing is, Jonah's so afraid of the water now, he won't even take a bath.'

'I'll need your name, address and social-security number to sell you that book, sir.' - Man purchasing book 'Coping with homeland security'.