Television Criticism Gifts

'You're right... it is more thought provoking.'

"I've been watching British shows on hulu. They're strange."

Down with canned laughter.

'TV program 'House Arrest' starts. Husband moans, 'Oh no! Not another property programme.''

More Vacuous Reality TV S**e

Another cretinous dating show

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

'What does it say, Dad?'

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Can't Touch This

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Christmas TV...

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

Can't Touch This

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

'Those viewers who disagree with our editorial on TV violence has better keep their big mouths shut!'

Native Habitats: Trump/Lies

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

"The end of 'Shark Week' is near!"

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'