Criticizing Tv Gifts

"Every time it comes on I feel like leaving the house."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'What does it say, Dad?'

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Can't Touch This

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

Can't Touch This

Christmas TV...

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

"You don't have to answer that."

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

NEWS WEATHER SPORTS

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

'Here's veteran pundit Edwin Shrock to sound off og whether any other pundits actually know what they're talking about...'

'He has a learning disability all right - television!'

Weird – I think everything they watch is called, That actor looks so familiar what else have we seen him in.

Silly News.