Criticizing Tv Pillows

"Every time it comes on I feel like leaving the house."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Can't Touch This

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

'What does it say, Dad?'

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"You don't have to answer that."

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

'Here's veteran pundit Edwin Shrock to sound off og whether any other pundits actually know what they're talking about...'

A TV tank

NEWS WEATHER SPORTS

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

'He has a learning disability all right - television!'