Criticizing Shows Pillows

"Since he retired, he fills his days complaining about 'woke' television."

American Idle.

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"You don't have to answer that."

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

Sherlock Holmes' tax return

"The house is great, but compared to reality show realtors, you're a big disappointment."

'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'

'Impressive screen, but doesn't it put you off your tea?'

'Honey, do you want to watch Dancing With the Stars, or the news showing Congress dancing all around the tough issues?'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

NEW FALL LINEUP

'We were made for each other...we hate the same TV shows.'

Sometimes I think your generation was the last truly human one, Mort. What do you mean? Your generation finished exploring the earth's surface, and when you were done with that, you went to the moon. For millennia, mankind was defined by its insatiable thirst for exploration. But that's all come to a sad end. I'm going to Mars to be on a reality show! DNC. I stand uncorrected.

Subtitle Guessing

"Fake brews."

BBC repeats are for life not just Christmas.

Down with canned laughter.

'... And now, the sports gossip.'

Eastenders: This Programme Contains Bad Acting And One-Dimensional Characterisation

"Why can't David Blaine just stick himself somewhere and not involve he rest of us?"

TV Listings

"Mum, stop it, this isn't reality T.V.!" "Shh or I'll vote you out."

'There's no decent comedy on TV nowadays. Why don't they bring back Mr Blobby?'

'The following football game contains moments of strategic planning followed by bursts of violence...'

Housewives meet Top Chef

"What's this garbage?"

"I can't watch this, it's disgusting!"

'They leave the TV on for me during the day when they go to work: Boy daytime TV is boring!'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Chris Matthews'