Television Critique Gifts

'Subliminal advertising, Alice, what did I tell you!'

"Fake brews."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

'What does it say, Dad?'

Can't Touch This

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

Native Habitats: Trump/Lies

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

'Those viewers who disagree with our editorial on TV violence has better keep their big mouths shut!'

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

"The end of 'Shark Week' is near!"