Television Bachelors Gifts

Reserve Ants

How witness protection really works...

'...Please stop the...'

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Man's evolution to the Strip club.

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

'I'm all about quantity.'

'I'm coping.'

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

'Dang.'

'Slow and hurl.'

'Remember, kids never over inflate your water wings.'

Bachelor Cake

'Tele-barketer.'

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'

'Dang! Six more hours.'

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

'Just so long as it doesn't lead to Math tests in church.'

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

'Is that a satellite photo?'

Clancy: Footloose and Fiancee-Free

'What's the special?'

Personal Ads: '...Men seeking anything that will stay still long enough.'

'Okey-doke,'

'crackle snap crackle pop.'

'Uh, i'll pass.'

Cult films!

'Your giant zit keeps staring at me!!'

Become a 'paranormal' investigator...

'You just go out on the lot and mark the tree you want.'