Bachelor At Heart Gifts

'Life's too short not to take time to stop and smell the hydrants.'

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'Girls don't like me, never have.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"You weren't laid off...it's called Summer break."

'...Please stop the...'

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Academics at the Beach

'What kind of...'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

Man's evolution to the Strip club.

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

'Slow and hurl.'

Bachelor Cake

"MY dad says that a man calls himself a bachelor until he gets married. Then he calls himself a bl**dy fool."

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'

'I'm coping.'

'Remember, kids never over inflate your water wings.'

'Tele-barketer.'

'Dang! Six more hours.'

'Dang.'

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

'Just so long as it doesn't lead to Math tests in church.'

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

Clancy: Footloose and Fiancee-Free

Personal Ads: '...Men seeking anything that will stay still long enough.'

'What's the special?'

'Thank you for another blessed year together.'

'Okey-doke,'

The Lecture.

'crackle snap crackle pop.'

'Uh, i'll pass.'

'Doing?'