Television Avoiders Gifts

"Now isn’t this better than that silly Super Bowl game?"

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Stephen Fry

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"Tarzan no want computer."

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

Nervous at a party.

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

Hot New Talk Shows!

'The ecosystem can fend for itself, but you're blocking the tv.'

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

Soap Opera

'We've been picking up your television broadcasts, and we're here to buy some of those neat steak knives!'

"He goes through the TV listings deleting all the 'trash' I like."

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

2016 Policlicks

"Oh good, there's nothing on."

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

"Want to get out of this dump and go watch television forever?"

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

Magician taking a break

'Oh, Goody, football - we'll be able to talk without feeling we're missing something.'

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

'My Barry hates horror films.'

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

'The reason man hasn't been to the moon in 35 years is because there's no T.V. and recliner up there.'

"Thanks for coming Bob, the reception was terrible before..."

"Ha! I love slapstick comedy."

"Are you binge watching again?"