Digital-avoiders Gifts

Peasant's emancipation.

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

"Tarzan no want computer."

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

Family separated by the Internet

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

"Now isn’t this better than that silly Super Bowl game?"

'The professor can read hieroglyphics on ruins and in tombs but he can't read text messages on his cell phone.'

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

"Grandpa, you remind me a lot of myself in my pre-tech years."

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

'Letters, letters, letters - why can't you learn to text?'

"I wish they'd turn off the news when they leave."

"This is where I go to get away from reality TV."

"Tweet? I don't think so."

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary - Digitally Mixed - Any drink stirred without the use of a spoon, swizzle stick or any other tool/utensil.

"Any luck?" "No, I can't get a wifi signal, either."

"Don't Look At it! It's A Listicle!"

"My life is one unending pop-up ad."

'Open up Clayton, you knew it was inevitable.'

'Can't you take out the trash, Mom? ? I'm busy deleting junk e-mail.'

"It keeps asking me if I'll accept cookies... I'm not even hungry!"

Computer user thinking 'The problem with e-books is that they are e-books.'

Protection from technology

"Ugh, not this again. I've been avoiding it like the plague."

"Don't worry. As soon as Junior learns enough words, he'll tell you how to work it."

"It's not unusual to feel stressed, anxious, unsure of the future...the political world is in disarray, we've gone through a turbulent time. You have to protect yourself! And I'd start by avoiding any news and especially anything to do with the prospect o

'What do you think about that tweet, Grandpa?'