Television Avoiders Pillows

"Now isn’t this better than that silly Super Bowl game?"

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"Tarzan no want computer."

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

Nervous at a party.

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

Hot New Talk Shows!

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

'The ecosystem can fend for itself, but you're blocking the tv.'

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

Soap Opera

'We've been picking up your television broadcasts, and we're here to buy some of those neat steak knives!'

"He goes through the TV listings deleting all the 'trash' I like."

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

2016 Policlicks

'My Barry hates horror films.'

'Oh, Goody, football - we'll be able to talk without feeling we're missing something.'

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

"Want to get out of this dump and go watch television forever?"

Magician taking a break

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

'The reason man hasn't been to the moon in 35 years is because there's no T.V. and recliner up there.'

"Thanks for coming Bob, the reception was terrible before..."

1 week only! OKRA...Oprah's Opera

Family Problems

"Since he discovered fire, he's done nothing but binge-watch."