Televangelism Fan Gifts

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

Moses separating his Laundry.

Cut!

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'NBC has revealed plans for a new, humorous version of The Office.'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Miami Mice

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

As Seen Watching TV

Larry King

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

The-Lead-Us-Not-Into Temptations

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

'Books are okay, except they only get one channel.'

How's My Omnipotence? 1-800-CREATOR

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

"Let's just binge watch this."

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."

Drones deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh to baby Jesus.

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'It's times like this I miss the business channel.'

'You did your book report on the TV schedule?'

"The season finale of the world is near."

"I wish I could help you, but you're on the set of a hospital soap opera."

John Calvin

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

John Logie Baird - The inventor of Teddy

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

God Selfie

Captive Audience.