Religion Sitcom Fan Gifts

The Five People You Will Meet in Hell.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"OMG, LOL!"

A surprise in heaven

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

Dogma

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

Om and Ommer

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

Three Parent Baby

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

Male On Sunday

Pope Kimba XXIII.

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

"He's highly qualified to be our new associate pastor but he wants all weekends and holidays off - the same days I want off."

"Holy moly!"

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Hallelujah!"