Telephone Prankster Pillows

"I'm sorry, he's not here right now, but I could get one of his socks for you."

'I'm away from my desk. At the sound, please leave a message.' (Man has horn in his hand).

"Listen ma'am, I'll cut to the chase. We just want your money."

"No, I'm sorry, you've got the wrong number. This isn't Loverboy!"

A.T.&T.'s New Competitors

Hi, baby. It's Shirley. What are you wearing? I'm wearing jeans. And they're extremely tight. By the way, wrong number.

I know you're a recording, but … what are you wearing?

'It's for you.'

'Hey, fool - this is the flea just above your tail - forget about sleeping tonight - ha ha ha ha!'

Cat on telephone, to cleaner's surprise.

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

I'm away from my desk, please leave a message after my interpretation of a beep.

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

Why are you waving that big magnet over my hard drive?

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

Hamlet meets autocorrect

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

Extremely Realistic Virtual Reality.

"My dad said I couldn't scare him, so I'm hiding all his data like it was erased. Get ready for a loud scream."

'... and when the user's blood pressure goes over 100, the computer shuts down, the siren sounds, and the neon sign beings to flash!'