Telephone Trickster Pillows

'He's in a meeting. Would you like to speak to his assistant?'

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

'If caller ID shows our number, it's just a tricky telemarketer...but in case I'm wrong you'd better answer to see what you want.'

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

'I don't care if today IS 'casual day'! Stop answering the phone with 'International Beeswax Machines'!'

'Jenny can't come to the phone, she's naked. Only joking, mate. Wrong number.'

"What do you mean: 'You don't believe that this is my answerphone'? Do you think I'd lie?"

"I'm sorry...I'll gladly take your friends off my list...if you just give me their numbers."

"Long distance from America..."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

High speed cinder block

"Well, team, we've been officially disqualified. You can come out of there, Tyler."

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

"Done Dad! I've hacked the dog's social media account and flooded it and his contacts with links to cat videos..."

"Never mind if you're good with people. Can you hack?"

'Hon, come quick! I think we have a major computer bug.'

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

'I got tattoos of all my passwords.'

'It's for you.'

"I can't understand why you're getting no signal down here? There's plenty of Hotspots!"

'Okay, here's how your contributor's brand new machine works! Now give me my money!'

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

Kids hiding plug to giant machine.

Cyber crime.

'Are you gonna answer that?'

"THIS IS A HOLD UP!"

"Do you like my new, squirty flower app?"

"Yethhh, hello. . .are you clothed?"