Telephone Trickster Pillows

'He's in a meeting. Would you like to speak to his assistant?'

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

Really? You had a great time last night? You want to see me again? You like me a lot? What number are you calling?

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

It's that heavy breathing again.

'If caller ID shows our number, it's just a tricky telemarketer...but in case I'm wrong you'd better answer to see what you want.'

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

'I don't care if today IS 'casual day'! Stop answering the phone with 'International Beeswax Machines'!'

'Jenny can't come to the phone, she's naked. Only joking, mate. Wrong number.'

"What do you mean: 'You don't believe that this is my answerphone'? Do you think I'd lie?"

"I'm sorry...I'll gladly take your friends off my list...if you just give me their numbers."

"Long distance from America..."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

High speed cinder block

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"Well, team, we've been officially disqualified. You can come out of there, Tyler."

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

"Never mind if you're good with people. Can you hack?"

"Done Dad! I've hacked the dog's social media account and flooded it and his contacts with links to cat videos..."

'Hon, come quick! I think we have a major computer bug.'

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

'I got tattoos of all my passwords.'

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

"I can't understand why you're getting no signal down here? There's plenty of Hotspots!"

Kids hiding plug to giant machine.

'Okay, here's how your contributor's brand new machine works! Now give me my money!'

'It's for you.'

Cyber crime.