Telecommunications Trickster Pillows

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

Primitive magician

Candid Camera store.

Some card-game puns

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

Yoyo sheep

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Magic Tricks

High speed cinder block

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

Magic Tricks

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

A dog has inflated the family cats with helium and they are floating on the roof.

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

He'd attended Julliard and done Shakespeare in the park, and he never thought he'd sink this low, but there were bills to pay, and there weren't that many jobs out there for a bottle of seltzer water.'

"Police, this is the wife of Magi the magician, something's happened to him!"

"Mom, that magic kit you got me for my birthday, we may have a problem."

Dog bringing paper and paper boy.

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

"Honey, the dog learned a new trick. And now I owe him twelve dollars."

"I love this ghost costume because it covers this costume. I remove it and go back for seconds!"

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"There's nothing magical about if, actually I just have a knack for this sort of thing."

Siegfried and Roy - grand re-opening.

'As you can see, nothing up my sleeves...'

"Well, team, we've been officially disqualified. You can come out of there, Tyler."