Telephone Investigator T-Shirts

"Some rascal saying he was you just tried to scam me!"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

Christopher Isherwood

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'