Telephone Collecting Pillows

'The 'Quick Response Team' doesn't answer.'

"Nuts to you, too."

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

'Try his land line.'

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

The birth of junk mail.

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'Here's the junk mail.'

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"Careful, kiddo. A lot a junk mail looks first class."

Captain Pointy No.21 - Hate mail

Bell invents the telephone.

'Say, you've been working out!' A Weiner dog bites mail carrier on the butt.

'Whoa! A classic case of mailbox catalog overload blowout!'

Recycling Post.

'Yes, I'm really modern now. I use a cell phone and no longer need a phone booth.'

"In the olden days, people used payphones. Beats me how they took selfies!"

'Bills, Bills, Bills!'

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

You are going to meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger...bringing your post.

"I've traveled billions of light-years and visited countless planets. Earth is the only place I can't get a signal."

Vampire mailman.

Santa carrying a sack full of mail

"The worst thing about hibernation ... the junk mail!"

"I'm delighted to report that Buck had a breakthrough and has identified the origins of his mailperson issues."

'The mail is here and it looks like the opticians have written to us.'

Racers' Gate.

"So how long have you had this ringing in your ears?"

'Did the mail come?'

Investments: New Investors Get Free Cell Phone With Ringtone 'We're in the Money'.

"No, you didn't wake me. I always sound like this."