Telephone Collectors Pillows

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"Nuts to you, too."

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

'Try his land line.'

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

Bell invents the telephone.

"Grandma, somebody wants to talk to you, but I can't get your phone off this cord."

'Yes, I'm really modern now. I use a cell phone and no longer need a phone booth.'

"In the olden days, people used payphones. Beats me how they took selfies!"

"I've traveled billions of light-years and visited countless planets. Earth is the only place I can't get a signal."

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

Investments: New Investors Get Free Cell Phone With Ringtone 'We're in the Money'.

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid your son just isn't very smart."

"So how long have you had this ringing in your ears?"

"I just pick a new one each season. How else would you get a new Apple?"

"In my day we had trimphones."

Mega Phone

"No, you didn't wake me. I always sound like this."

"I don't need to know your age. I saw you suing a flip phone, so I'll just assume you're old."

"It's too easy to lose a business card. A rubber stamp, you'll remember."

'I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to sell you that smart phone without first verifying your IQ.'

Wordilly Durdillies - Ringworm

'For deliveries press the hatch key.'

Shaped telephone box in a maternity ward.

Calling Home, "I'll get your mother..."

Life before mobile phones

'I though I'd developed tinnitus, then I remembered we still have a landline.'

"Smartphone? What's that?"

'I'm calling you from my grandma's weird phone. She says they used to have leased phones, but I think she meant leashed.'

Selfie sticks growing on trees.

"Oh no, here comes another one of his 'back in my day' stories."