Telephone Collector Pillows

'I don't know if the cat is away ot not - I got his answering machine.'

Wordilly Durdillies - Ringworm

"No, you didn't wake me. I always sound like this."

"Nuts to you, too."

'For deliveries press the hatch key.'

'I'm calling you from my grandma's weird phone. She says they used to have leased phones, but I think she meant leashed.'

Life before mobile phones

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

'The 'Quick Response Team' doesn't answer.'

'I did upgrade. I bought a longer cord.'

'Try his land line.'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

Bell invents the telephone.

"Grandma, somebody wants to talk to you, but I can't get your phone off this cord."

"In the olden days, people used payphones. Beats me how they took selfies!"

'Yes, I'm really modern now. I use a cell phone and no longer need a phone booth.'

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

"I've traveled billions of light-years and visited countless planets. Earth is the only place I can't get a signal."

Investments: New Investors Get Free Cell Phone With Ringtone 'We're in the Money'.

Mega Phone

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid your son just isn't very smart."

"So how long have you had this ringing in your ears?"

"I don't need to know your age. I saw you suing a flip phone, so I'll just assume you're old."

"I just pick a new one each season. How else would you get a new Apple?"

"It's too easy to lose a business card. A rubber stamp, you'll remember."

'I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to sell you that smart phone without first verifying your IQ.'

Leave it, I never answer the landline anymore

Shaped telephone box in a maternity ward.

Calling Home, "I'll get your mother..."

'I though I'd developed tinnitus, then I remembered we still have a landline.'

'He only plays them once a day. At 4 in the morning.'

"This whole time we could've been charging our phones."