Telephone Collecting Gifts

'The 'Quick Response Team' doesn't answer.'

Lance, don't you think it's time we got a cordless phone? Are you kidding? This one's already too newfangled for me. I'm thinking of going back to a rotary dial.

"Nuts to you, too."

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

'Try his land line.'

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

The birth of junk mail.

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

Seinfeld: The Early Years.

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

'Here's the junk mail.'

Captain Pointy No.21 - Hate mail

"Careful, kiddo. A lot a junk mail looks first class."

'Say, you've been working out!' A Weiner dog bites mail carrier on the butt.

Bell invents the telephone.

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

'Bills, Bills, Bills!'

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

'Yes, I'm really modern now. I use a cell phone and no longer need a phone booth.'

'Whoa! A classic case of mailbox catalog overload blowout!'

You are going to meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger...bringing your post.

"I've traveled billions of light-years and visited countless planets. Earth is the only place I can't get a signal."

A man stands before a post box with no slot to put his letter

Recycling Post.

"In the olden days, people used payphones. Beats me how they took selfies!"

Santa carrying a sack full of mail

"I'm delighted to report that Buck had a breakthrough and has identified the origins of his mailperson issues."

Vampire mailman.

"The worst thing about hibernation ... the junk mail!"

"So how long have you had this ringing in your ears?"

Racers' Gate.

"I just pick a new one each season. How else would you get a new Apple?"

"No, you didn't wake me. I always sound like this."