Teetotalism Challengers Gifts

"Actually, I'm a practising teetotaller. I just haven't got the hang of it yet."

Sober Tooth Tiger

'New Barbeque.'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"You talkin' to me?"

The Janopause

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"I wonder, sir, if you expect to be using your complimentary cocktail."

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

Freedom of Press

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

'Good to see you in church on Sunday.' -'So that's where I was.'

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

Drink kills.

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

"This Dry January thing is going to be a real challenge."

Small child advocating teetotalism to his grandfather

The Couple who bought complete services for twelve, including dinner plates, luncheon plates, salad plates, soup bowls. . . .Out of Wedlock

I see you're drinking coffee. I'm also a teetotaler. I only force down these martinis for the roughage in the olives. ??

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

'No alcohol for me thanks: I see enough mirages as it is...'

A Guilty Conscience.

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

Teetotaler introducing his son to the schoolmaster

Have you been eating people again, Gertie?

'I'm a teetotaler.'

Overdoing It.

A Volunteer Review

SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE, 'You have the wrong idea, sir -- we're not liquor consultants.'

'Non-alcohol beer? Aisle 6, keep sweeping dust till you hit 'em.'

"Dry January?"

'I overheard you say that you have been sober for 10 years... Me to!'