Teetotalism Challengers Gifts

"Actually, I'm a practising teetotaller. I just haven't got the hang of it yet."

Sober Tooth Tiger

'New Barbeque.'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"You talkin' to me?"

The Janopause

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"I wonder, sir, if you expect to be using your complimentary cocktail."

Freedom of Press

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

'Good to see you in church on Sunday.' -'So that's where I was.'

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

Drink kills.

"This Dry January thing is going to be a real challenge."

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

'No alcohol for me thanks: I see enough mirages as it is...'

Small child advocating teetotalism to his grandfather

The Couple who bought complete services for twelve, including dinner plates, luncheon plates, salad plates, soup bowls. . . .Out of Wedlock

A Guilty Conscience.

Teetotaler introducing his son to the schoolmaster

Have you been eating people again, Gertie?

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

'I'm a teetotaler.'

Overdoing It.

'Non-alcohol beer? Aisle 6, keep sweeping dust till you hit 'em.'

SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE, 'You have the wrong idea, sir -- we're not liquor consultants.'

A Volunteer Review

'I overheard you say that you have been sober for 10 years... Me to!'

"He used to read him stories but now he just tells him how great he feels since he stopped drinking."

"Dry January?"