Teetotal Trendsetter Gifts

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

Sober Tooth Tiger

'New Barbeque.'

'You've got lot toe!'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"You talkin' to me?"

The Janopause

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'What is she thinking? Cloth diapers are soooo out of style this season.'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

"I wonder, sir, if you expect to be using your complimentary cocktail."

Corn and Bunion plants.

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

'It's the worse case of in-growing toe nails I've ever seen, nurse!'

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

Drink kills.

"This Dry January thing is going to be a real challenge."

"That's a lovely tee-shot." - "Well, thank you, it matches my underpants."

'No alcohol for me thanks: I see enough mirages as it is...'

Small child advocating teetotalism to his grandfather

I see you're drinking coffee. I'm also a teetotaler. I only force down these martinis for the roughage in the olives. ??

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

A Guilty Conscience.

Overdoing It.

Have you been eating people again, Gertie?

'I'm a teetotaler.'

Teetotaler introducing his son to the schoolmaster

"Actually, I'm a practising teetotaller. I just haven't got the hang of it yet."

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

Alcoholics Antonymous

A Volunteer Review

SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE, 'You have the wrong idea, sir -- we're not liquor consultants.'

'Non-alcohol beer? Aisle 6, keep sweeping dust till you hit 'em.'

"Dry January?"