Teetotal Advocate Gifts

Teetotaler introducing his son to the schoolmaster

The Janopause

Sober Tooth Tiger

'New Barbeque.'

"I wouldn't mind, but I only topped the bloomin' thing up last week!"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"You talkin' to me?"

'Just for a change, how about we tickle this one?'

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'Good to see you in church on Sunday.' -'So that's where I was.'

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

"I wonder, sir, if you expect to be using your complimentary cocktail."

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

Drink kills.

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

"This Dry January thing is going to be a real challenge."

Small child advocating teetotalism to his grandfather

I see you're drinking coffee. I'm also a teetotaler. I only force down these martinis for the roughage in the olives. ??

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

'No alcohol for me thanks: I see enough mirages as it is...'

A Guilty Conscience.

snake charmer's snake on strike

"Actually, I'm a practising teetotaller. I just haven't got the hang of it yet."

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

Have you been eating people again, Gertie?

'I'm a teetotaler.'

Overdoing It.

Alcoholics Antonymous

A Volunteer Review

'Non-alcohol beer? Aisle 6, keep sweeping dust till you hit 'em.'

SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE, 'You have the wrong idea, sir -- we're not liquor consultants.'

"Dry January?"

'I overheard you say that you have been sober for 10 years... Me to!'