Teetotal Advocate Gifts

Teetotaler introducing his son to the schoolmaster

The Janopause

Sober Tooth Tiger

'New Barbeque.'

"I wouldn't mind, but I only topped the bloomin' thing up last week!"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"You talkin' to me?"

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"I wonder, sir, if you expect to be using your complimentary cocktail."

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

'Good to see you in church on Sunday.' -'So that's where I was.'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

Drink kills.

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

"This Dry January thing is going to be a real challenge."

'No alcohol for me thanks: I see enough mirages as it is...'

Small child advocating teetotalism to his grandfather

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

A Guilty Conscience.

Have you been eating people again, Gertie?

'I'm a teetotaler.'

Overdoing It.

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

"Actually, I'm a practising teetotaller. I just haven't got the hang of it yet."

snake charmer's snake on strike

Alcoholics Antonymous

SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE, 'You have the wrong idea, sir -- we're not liquor consultants.'

'Non-alcohol beer? Aisle 6, keep sweeping dust till you hit 'em.'

A Volunteer Review

"He used to read him stories but now he just tells him how great he feels since he stopped drinking."

"Dry January?"

'I overheard you say that you have been sober for 10 years... Me to!'

Evils of Alcohol