Teen Talk Enthusiast Gifts

'My mum's just given me a positive talk about sex...'

'My dad's more absent than your dad...'

'Turn that frown upside down or at least text mommy a smiley face emoticon.'

"Wow, that was short. You only talked for 45 minutes. What happened?"

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

Teen's Comet

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

Bert makes a fashion statement...'You look like an idiot!'

'He knows a few words, but he can't really process them yet.'

Teenage Yoda

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'That's like, so random!' (teenager reading about the laws of chance)

Teen Owl

'I was a teenager once too, dear.'

'Copy and study this list of text message spelling words. We will have test tomorrow.'

"A job? Can't I just start a Go Fund Me page?"

'Let's not jump into this.'

"Don't tell me, Daddy scared you with his silly rules about dating his daughter, didn't he, Lance?"

'Hello, I would like to talk to somebody.'

"Megan is at that age where she's embarrassed to be seen shopping with her mother."

"Seriously! My mother says she remembers when all you could do with a cell phone was make calls."

Fortunately there was an interpreter for those who understood sign language.

'Can we put our hands together for a warm Kettlesong Village Hall welcome to Mr Grimby and what should be a riveting talk about the Ice Age.'

Word up!

Too many Choices

"A banana Grace left in my room four weeks ago."

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.

When are we gonna learn something from our generation and not yours?

'Until I was thirteen I thought my name was stop it!'

"Now that I've learned to talk I can't think of anything to say."

'Of course I bailed you out - you've got soccer tonight.'

Poetry corner: junior high edition