Teen Satirist Gifts

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Emergency Hipster Beard

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

'Secondhand smoke.'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

"When I said my teacher had no class I meant class was canceled."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

Breakfast at Universities

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Sean Hannity?'

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'It's the new guidance counselor. He's lost.'