Teen Culture Satirist Gifts

Hoody Woodpecker.

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Emergency Hipster Beard

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

Teen's Comet

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

"When I said my teacher had no class I meant class was canceled."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

Breakfast at Universities

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

Students renaming 'in' and 'out' trays with 'shake it all about'.

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

"You missed breakfast and lunch and haven't left your bed so it's not worth you getting up now. Good night!"

'Ms Phipps! Joey accidentally brought his grandmother's cream cheese and cucumber sandwich for lunch! Call 911!'

'It's the new guidance counselor. He's lost.'

Teenage Yoda

Bert makes a fashion statement...'You look like an idiot!'

"High school uniforms?! Can you imagine everyone wearing the same thing every day!"

"All of a sudden, everyone seems younger than I am."

"Unruly, talking back, lack of respect...and that's just the parents."

Teen Owl

"Before I begin, everyone must sign a non-disclosure agreement."

'I spoke to my therapist and she says it's okay if I don't like you.'

Paparazzi at the Local Dump

I shall not insult my stupid, fat, idiotic, ugly, lousy teacher...