Teen Culture Critic Gifts

"High school uniforms?! Can you imagine everyone wearing the same thing every day!"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

The height of fashion in 1796

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

Text Culture

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Kritik's Korner

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

The americanisation of vulture.

"Say 'eh.'"

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

If humans instead of dinosaurs had lived when the big asteroid hit.

A cross section of the brain shows what a man thinks about.

Armageddon

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

Pop Culture for Teens

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

Unlikely Couples #136: Jim and Sheryl Crow

"Now that was post-modern sex."

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

"He's deliciously vintage."

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

'He's at a very impressionable age.'

"I'm after the history section."

"How is it in Russia?"

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

'Teenage Beethoven.'