Teen Rite Of Passage Gifts

"We begin tonight with breaking news. LIFE has given a local teenager a rude awakening."

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"Three more years of high school."

The Brothers Grime

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

PROBLEM AREAS

Fishbowl rebellion.

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"Today, son, you are a man."

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

'Before I undertake my journey, I require you to make me a warrior's headband.'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Teenage Angst.

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

"Son, you're old enough now to learn about something we call 'compliance'...."

"My parent's think I'm apathetic, but I don't care."

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

Teenage Shakespeare

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

Young Pups In A Chat Room.

Pubertry

"I'm you, from the future, here to deliver a witty comeback line."

Beer Van and Ice Cream Van

"Stop smirking, it's just an expression! You know perfectly well what I mean when I say I'm putting my foot down and you can't go out tonight!"

Fishbowl Rebellion

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

Hey, Twig! Ryan Beardsley wants your cell phone number! The divine wonder of West Fester High? Finally! My life changes for the better. He needs activities for his college apps and wants to come to our shortest eco-club cleanup. Change you can believe in. West Fester High School.

"Thank you. Now we'd like to do our big hit -- I Can't Wait to be 16'."

"Hello, Sally? I've decided not to go to the concert. . . my father said I'd have to use my own money!"