Teenage Transition Gifts

'You're at that awkward age where the others have figured out that you're a drone and you don't do anything.'

"I can't believe that in a few short years we're actually going to like them."

"Three more years of high school."

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

PROBLEM AREAS

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Fishbowl rebellion.

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Teenage Angst.

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"I'm you, from the future, here to deliver a witty comeback line."

Pubertry

Tunnel of Spotty Wi-Fi

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

"Baldo, we need to talk."

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

"Stop smirking, it's just an expression! You know perfectly well what I mean when I say I'm putting my foot down and you can't go out tonight!"

'Not till you're sixteen.'