Teenage Phase Gifts

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

'Teenagers!'

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

Modern Kids.

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

'Oi son, you're not going out dressed like that.'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Two