Rites Of Passage Gifts

Girl paint a free bird on the wall while man approaches with a cage.

"You don't need to tell me about the birds and the bees. I just Googled it."

"Son, you're old enough now to learn about something we call 'compliance'...."

"Now in the second law of thermodynamics..."

"Mom, how many more years until I reach that awkward age?"

"Those are the facts of life as you see them? That there are no superheroes, Santa Claus isn't real, there is no Giant Bunny who delivers Easter eggs, and the government lies to us?"

"Hold it, dad - what's a 'bird', and what's a 'bee'?"

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

'Want to watch the Father-Son talk greatest hits?'

'Here's your chance to shine, son. Make me proud.'

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

'Yeah, getting older stinks. Pretty soon we'll lose that cuteness factor.'

'Isn't it time you talked to Tyler about the birds, the bees, and signing up for Affordable Health Care?'

"My Dad gave me the birds and bees talk, I don't think he could handle the real facts of life."

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"Today, son, you are a man."

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

'Before I undertake my journey, I require you to make me a warrior's headband.'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

Fiction. Mystery. History.

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

'Are they fresh?'

Beer Van and Ice Cream Van

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

Confirmation of Westminster School Boys at the Abbey

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

The Wackoman (Heat it).

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

'If it works, Andy, you can expect a visit from the skin fairy tonight, ready?'

Journalist Interviewing a Fallen Rider.