Secret Passage Enthusiast Gifts

"It's tough to admit that now I will never own a bookcase which springs open to reveal a hidden room ..."

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

Company Ink.

"My job went remote, so I got two more remote jobs are started secretly travelling the world."

"Your covers been blown 007....you'll have to be called 008 from now on."

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

Gigolo Diary

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

Watergate is just the tip of the iceberg phobia. 'I have here secret government documents that describe the events leading up to Custer's Last Stand.'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

'This tape will self destruct in 5 seconds. If it doesn't, please stomp on it a few times.'

A rake jumps from a window onto a horse

'Every friend is a potential security breach.'

'Is that some kind of ceremonial mask?'

"Cross the road and you are one of us brother, but you can never reveal WHY you did it!"

After the party the Millers return to their underground lair.

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

"This passport is so weak that I need a visa to enter my own country."

"Of course I could tell you more about the job...but then I would have to kill you!"

"Don't worry what your dad will say when finds that we have eloped - he's holding the ladder!"

"This leads to the actual library."

I Was Married to Banksy.

The Ekert Saga: '...The Ekert Presahvation league has guarded this secret fah ovah a thousand years, so you can't tell anyone!'

Valerie thrived in an internet community that had no idea she was a chicken...

"Rule #1: DON'T talk about sore throat club!"

"Gosh, guys, I'm excited. This is my first cabal."

The secret world of Stephen Harper...

'Well Knuckles - All those years of faithful service and we never discussed retirement options!'

"What do you hear from Agent X-37, chief?", "He's doing fine, but please use his code name 'Kemosabe.'"

Random things I miss: Deciding on a holiday

"It's a covert operation!"

'Well, Time, we made it past all that security,,, Now I'll just fax these secret documents to Zurich and we can pay off your bookies,'