Secret Passage Seeker Gifts

Old Creepy House Philosophy. When one secret passage closes, another opens!

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

New York Netherworld

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

Fiction. Mystery. History.

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

The World's best Camouflage Store.

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

A rake jumps from a window onto a horse

'Remember when your identity was stolen? I just bought it back on eBay.'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians: Part Two

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

Psst! Stay in character!

"I forgot my password, so I created a new one. Then, I forgot that one, so I created a new one. Maybe you were right. I should write them down."

'That's our quilt edged investments sorted.'

"There...that chair, hidden by the plants...that's my secret happy place."

'What's the pass-word?'

Magic's Greatest Secret Revealed.

'I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. How do you expect me to remember another bloody password!?'

"This leads to the actual library."

"It's not for sale."

"Let's not tell anyone about this spot."

"Are you a robot?"

"You think he knows something we don't?"

Insider Information.

'I'm sorry, we already have a director of security...'

'Whatever you do, don't tell the rest of the herd about this secret grazing place we found.'