Teen Special Occasion Gifts

"It's okay dad, I'm just saying good night."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

Social Networking.

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

'Your dad wouldn't let you borrow the car tonight?'

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

' I see Brad's playing his new video game again.'

'That was quite a birthday party - we played full-contact spin-the-bottle.'

"So what's your definition of 'love'?"

'I will be a chaperone at the senior prom. I need a prom dress but I don't want to be mistaken for a student.'

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

Parenting Wonks

"Very effective talk on the power of non-verbal communication."

Net Bubbie

Carole Jean's First "Big Girl" Heels

"Dad, this is totally the most important conversation ever!"

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

I'm warning you. My nosy parents are chaperoning. It'll be fine. Eco Club Dance. All they want to do is spy on me. You're safe. You think? Is that Twig? I forgot my night-vision goggles.

Pinata Pranks

"Are there any questions about the Battle of Austerlitz?"

Our dance has to be sustainable. I'll send electronic invites. Eco Club. We can hang white LED Christmas lights. The food will be seasonal! Ice cream? W. Fester School.

"We begin tonight with breaking news. LIFE has given a local teenager a rude awakening."

"You know, we're not getting any younger...I mean, pretty soon, we'll both be 16."

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

Girl to mother: 'Don't call me a teenager. From now on, I want to be referred to as a pre-adult.'

"We aren't so different, you and I. But, for whatever reason, you're a common breakfast snack, and I'm a delectable treat, revered the world over and reserved for special occasions. Helluva world, brother! Just glad I'm not in your paper sleeve."

When Astronomers Party.