Special Occasions Gifts

Jack's Cards

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

'Cards for those special occasions'.

Greetings Cards: Sorry You've Been Stabbed.

Lady going to a show at the Royal Opera House.

"Got any 'I really want to see you again' cards that look like a subpoena?"

Lesbian civil partnership.

Mardi Gras

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Bacchus.

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Bubbly

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

Dancing Doctor

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Cardiac Recovery.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

Happy Turkey Day!

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."