Special Occasions Gifts

Jack's Cards

'Cards for those special occasions'.

Greetings Cards: Sorry You've Been Stabbed.

Lady going to a show at the Royal Opera House.

"Got any 'I really want to see you again' cards that look like a subpoena?"

Lesbian civil partnership.

Mardi Gras

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Bacchus.

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Dancing Doctor

Bubbly

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Cardiac Recovery.

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

Johannes Sebastian Bach