Special Occasion Gifts

"We aren't so different, you and I. But, for whatever reason, you're a common breakfast snack, and I'm a delectable treat, revered the world over and reserved for special occasions. Helluva world, brother! Just glad I'm not in your paper sleeve."

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"This is a special night, so instead of an order from the car, we'll go inside!"

Lesbian civil partnership.

Mardi Gras

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Bacchus.

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Bubbly

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Dancing Doctor

Cardiac Recovery.

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

Happy Turkey Day!

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'