Teen Parenting Survivor Gifts

'Oh no, mine aren't deaf. They're teenagers.'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"If we synchronize our tantrums, they'll have to stop talking. You in?"

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'How many kids do you actually have?'

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

Mother's Whistler.

Curious George, Dad

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

"I'm letting him soak."

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"Sometimes I feel the only thing keeping us together is our fear of the children."

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

"It's so nice out, we decided to let our phones play outside."

'I think i cried myself inside out!'

"The babysitter wants to know where you keep your vodka?"

Pop in the 3rd movie. I used to like Kevin Costner. Brew the 5th pot of coffee. Fair trade: sleep for caffeine. Take turns as sentry. Do not ring. Do not ring. Do not ring

May 2004: Crack of 4:00 AM / May 2020: Crack of 4:00 PM

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'

The swamp of adolescence

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

"Our little girl is growing up - this very morning she told me she hates me."

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

The surrendered mom

"When they say to use protection... this is what you're protecting against."

Abandon all hope ye who enter here,

Sometimes I worry about you, Axel. Teenagers are a big source of anxiety for their guardians. You don

"And a mild sedative for the kid behind me."