Teenage Parent Challenges Gifts

Mom: 'Do I have to repeat myself again, again & again? girl: 'yes, yes, & yes!'

Suffering from Cooties?

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'We've created a teenager!'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

"I'm sorry madam but we don't make them go missing."

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

'You've failed to reach your performance targets,we'll have to let you go.'

Curious George, Dad

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

Daughter/psychiatrist

Parenting Wonks

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

'The only thing we have in common anymore is the kids are driving us both nuts!'

'Sleeping like a baby'

"If you had only listened to me when you were six and not eaten that dirt."